January 30, 2026
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8 Min Read

A lot of guys struggle to understand how to be truly supportive and create a safe space for their partners. If this is you, understand that it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility - to work on yourself and figure out how you can be better. The more you learn to ground yourself and help her feel like you’re present and supportive, the better she’ll feel with you.
The primary goal of holding space is staying calm and grounded in your own body (as opposed to being reactive, defensive, or anxious) and validating what she feels, so that she feels safe to be in her emotions. This is a big part of what it means to be a safe man - you’re creating safety for her to be vulnerable - and therefore to be in her full expression of herself. The most important principle here is non-reactivity. This means staying calm instead of letting your emotions take over. The minute you start to get angry, upset, scared, or stressed out, she’ll feel that you’re not holding the space as well as you could be, and as a result she will close up - because she feels like she has to be the one to create safety, and that she can’t be vulnerable with you. This is one of the most common reasons women stop wanting to have sex with their partners - they don’t feel emotionally safe and therefore they don’t feel emotionally connected to them. As simple as all of this may sound, a lot of guys really struggle with it. Below we’ll discuss why this happens and what you can do to improve. Any time you interact with another person is an opportunity to hold space - ie. to make them feel safe and validated in what they’re feeling while you remain calm. For the purpose of this article, we’re mainly focusing on moments when your partner is feeling emotional, or bringing up challenging or emotional topics. This might include conflicts between the two of you, but it also includes moments when she’s feeling upset or overwhelmed about something else.

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