How To Regulate Your Nervous System

A trigger is a reminder of something that has already happened. When we get triggered, we're often feeling that we are unsafe because we're remembering a feeling that we didn't fully process from the past.

When we get triggered, the perception of a threat (even if it’s not real) can cause us to go into sympathetic, ie. “fight or flight” and mobilize energy in order to do that, or begin to shut down and go into dorsal vagal.

This video is about what to do when those things happen.

‍

Practices that can help you come back into social engagement from sympathetic:

1. Notice that you’ve gone into sympathetic – what sensations am I aware of that suggest I’m feeling unsafe?
2. We want to discharge that mobilized energy, and we want to show the body that we're safe.
3. Do your best not to gasp. Instead, exhale calmly and slowly.
4. Observe your breath and breathe slowly, deeply, and fully. Quiet, gentle, exhales, with very little effort. Just let the air leave your body.
5. Let out a sigh, or several. This directly stimulates the vagus nerve, helping to bring you back into social engagement.
6. Notice areas of tension in your body. Breathe into them. Your breath can help to expand the area and discharge that tension.
7. Make long sounds. “OOOOOOH”, “AHHHHHHH”, “OHHHHH”, and “VOOOOOO” can all be helpful to ground your nervous system and discharge mobilized energy.
8. Go for a walk, or do some gentle movement such as yoga or streching.
9. Some people find shaking or jumping up and down to be helpful.
10. Take a shower.

Remember to try these things out and figure out what works best for you. Different tools may work better at different times.

‍

For guys who really get “heated” or very angry:

• Going for a big run or doing a bigger session of yoga or cardio to help you move and release pent up energy and tension
• Change your temperature - a cold shower, cold dip, or holding ice on the back of your neck or in your hands
• Lay down on the ground or on the earth
• Yell into a pillow

‍

Practices to help you come out of dorsal vagal shutdown into social engagement:

(Remember, you often need to go up the ladder, through sympathetic in order to get back into social engagement

• “The antidote to freeze is movement”
• Start gentle. Slow, gentle movement such as turning the shoulders side to side, tapping different areas of the body, or stretching
• Using your voice to make a sound or hum or sigh
• Then, as you start to come back into movement and being in sympathetic, you can use the practices above for coming out of sympathetic

Again, you will figure out what works best for you through trial and error.

‍

Lifestyle choices to support nervous system regulation:

• A balanced diet, lots of fruits and vegetables, including dietary fibre, plenty of protein, and avoid over-consuming sugar and alcohol
• Regular exercise of walking running, lifting weights
• Spending time in nature
• Being socially connected
• Doing a regular mindfulness practice

‍

Reflection questions:

1. Try out some of the nervous system regulation tools in the video as well as the guided session linked below. What do you notice in your body? What changes does this support in your awareness and how you feel?
2. Which of the tools above have worked for you in the past? Which ones do you want to try out in the future, and in what types of situations?

‍

Guided Practices:

Breathing into different areas of the body

Grounding practice from last lesson (video)

Guided Anger Release

‍

Safety plan:

A safety plan is a set of steps that you can take any time you’re feeling triggered, unsafe, stressed out, or overwhelmed. By writing out a safety plan ahead of time, you can have it available to refer back to, and know which resources you’ve planned to use in response to different challenging situations.

I suggest copying and pasting these questions and answers into a word document or printing off the document I’ve included below.

1. What daily or regular practice will I commit to that helps strengthen my nervous system regulation?
2. (For example: breathwork, body scanning, walking, meditation, stretching, time in nature.)
3. What tools can I use when I notice myself becoming anxious, activated, or pulled into sympathetic “fight or flight”?
4. (For example: slow breathing, orienting to my surroundings, movement, temperature changes, grounding touch.)
5. What tools can I use when I notice myself shutting down, feeling numb, collapsed, or pulled into dorsal vagal?
6. (For example: gentle movement, warmth, sound, light, connection, pacing.)
7. What word, phrase, or simple signal can I use to let my partner know I feel unsafe or overwhelmed and need time to regulate?
8. What specific steps will I take if I notice myself becoming extremely angry, reactive, or “heated”?
9. (For example: leaving the room, pausing the conversation, cold water on the face, grounding before re-engaging.)
10. Who is one trusted person I can reach out to when I feel very overwhelmed or like I need support?
11. (Name, relationship, and best way to contact them.)
12. What is my local emergency number to call if I become afraid I might be a danger to myself or others?

Printable version (click here)

‍

Further resources:

• Paper: Practical applications of grounding to support health:  https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2319417022001585
• Paper on using cold to reduce heartrate, reduce stress and calm the nervous system: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6334714/
• Canada’s food guide is a great resource on healthy eating: https://food-guide.canada.ca/en/healthy-eating-recommendations/make-it-a-habit-to-eat-vegetables-fruit-whole-grains-and-protein-foods/
• Karen Hurd has some great info on nutrition and caffeine: https://open.spotify.com/episode/1yDF7Fvvf8UxLeLf8SCYQ7
• Huberman Lab on the effects of magnesium and how/what to take: https://ai.hubermanlab.com/s/8PO7lxbs
• A great paper on Omega 3 and the many benefits / conditions it supports: https://www.foundmyfitness.com/topics/omega-3
• Paper: Spending at least 120 minutes a week in nature is associated with good health and wellbeing: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31197192/
• Benefits of social connection for wellbeing: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9560615/
• Regular mindfulness practice reduces impulse control and improves mental health: https://www.academia.edu/2997-9196/2/1/10.20935/MHealthWellB7477

‍