Understanding Safety Via Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges looks at our perceived level of safety and how that affects our physiology, social connection, and emotional experience.

There are 3 states we shift between based on how safe we feel:

1. Social engagement, aka “rest and digest”. Here, you feel relaxed in your body and it’s relatively easy to connect with other people.
2. Sympathetic, where we mobilize energy to “fight or flight”. Here, the body is moving more energy, getting ready to attack, defend, or run away.
3. Dorsal vagal, or “shutdown”, where we begin to dissociate, zone out, and disconnect from what we’re feeling. A state of immobilization (being frozen) that comes after sympathetic when the body begins to “
   1. Note: I mentioned “dissociation” in this section of the video
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‍Dissociation is a protective response where the mind creates distance from experience when something feels overwhelming, threatening, or too much to process in the moment.In plain terms:It’s when awareness pulls away from sensations, emotions, thoughts, or even identity in order to cope.Dissociation ranges from very common to more severe and can feel like you’re spaced out, foggy, or not really there, watching yourself from the outside, or feeling numb or disconnected from emotions or the body.

Note that we shift between these states on a spectrum , meaning you can be anywhere from slightly in sympathetic or dorsal vagal, to intensely in these states.

I didn’t mention this in the video, but we can also be in sympathetic and dorsal vagal at the same time. This looks like feeling terrified, and being sympathetically aroused, but at the same time, feeling like we can’t move or that we’re numb.

Remember, this all happens based on our perceived level of safety – not how safe we actually are, but how safe we perceive ourselves to be.

We also introduce The window of tolerance. This is the zone where your body can be with emotions, process your experience, and manage and cope with stress effectively. Your window of tolerance and its capacity is based on your trauma and past experience. When you’re in social engagement, you’re in your window of tolerance.

The renowned professor and mindfulness teacher, John Cabot Zinn describes mindfulness as awareness that arises in the present moment by paying attention on purpose non-judgmentally. Mindfulness helps us to live in the present moment and see things as they truly are rather than operating based on stories or emotions driven by our trauma or unprocessed past experiences. It helps us become more self-aware and develop more self-control.

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Reflection questions:

1. Based on what I noitced in my body during the guided practice, which of the 3 polyvagal states do I believe I’m currently in?
2. When do I notice myself going into sympathetic? Are there certain situations with my partner or other people that tend to put me into sympathetic? What do I feel or notice in my body in those moments? How do I tend to behave in those moments?
3. Do I remember moments when I’ve gone into dorsal vagal shutdown? What happened? What was it like?

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Suggested practices:

1. Throughout the day, practice mindfulness, checking in with the body and noticing – what am I feeling in this moment?
2. When you're in a challenging conversation with your partner, practice mindfulness – check in and notice, “what am I feeling? What state might I be in?” From there you can make a more conscious choice about what to do next.

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Guided Practices:

Audio version of the mindfulness practice from this video

A 5-minute mindfulness practice from John Kabat-Zinn

A 20-minute mindfulness practice from him

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Further Resources:

The opossum going into dorsal vagal shutdown

A helpful diagram you can download to help you remember polyvagal theory

Full Catastroph Living, a popular book on mindfulness by John Kabat-Zinn

For those who really want to nerd out, this is the book on polyvagal theory. Note that it’s a dense read and not necessary or recommended reading

And for those who want credible citations or to nerd out even further, the original paper on polyvagal theory by Dr. Stephen Porges from 2006

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