Chapter 5: The Father Wound and Comparison

If the love of the Mother is nurturing, then the love of the Father is accountable and growth orientated. In a healthy dynamic, the love of both the Mother and Father should be unconditional, but it shows up in different ways. Dad is there to teach you to get back up when you get knocked down. That no matter how hard the world seems, he is there beside you cheering you on. Sadly, for most men, their Father wasn’t engaged, was completely absent, or even worse was emotional and/or physically abusive. This has long lasting effects on a man’s self-confidence, and ability to show with presence and potency in his sex life.

Your father was supposed to offer you a transmission of healthy masculinity resulting in a deep sense of self-confidence and the ability to self-lead. His role was to initiate you into the necessary separation from you Mother and from the comfort of home. if he didn’t do that you will likely suffer from issues of self-belief, self-confidence, and find it difficult to push through challenges in your life and stand in the face of adversity.

Furthermore, you will likely look to other men as role models, unconsciously seeking that which you didn’t get from Dad. And this brings us to the point of this video. If left unresolved, your Father Wounding will result in you not feeling like a man despite your age. You’ll rub up against confidence issues in life and in sex. Or, you will over compensate out of a deep seated fear that hasn’t been addressed. You will compare yourself to other men, and constantly look outside of yourself for guidance. Because your father never taught you too look within, which is your only true compass.

Just like your Mother, it’s not your Fathers fault. He did the best he could. Coming to accept this is essential for healing this wound, but it’s not the finish line. It’s the starting point. In this video we will describe the Father Wound in depth and how healing it results in you being able to show up in time and time again, despite any and all failures in your sex life.

Questions to reflect on after this chapter:

• What was my relationship like with my Father and how did she make me feel as a boy?
• What needs do I feel I didn’t get met from my Father?
• How is my relationship with my Father as a boy showing up in my life as a man today? (i.e. lacking confidence, looking to other men for guidance, shying away from challenge, thinking masculinity is inherently bad, etc)
• What is my relationship to facing challenges, discipline, doing uncomfortable things in order to grow?
• What did my inner boy need from my Father that I didn’t receive? How can I give that to myself now that I am a man.