Chapter 8: Presence, Clarity, Vastness

One of the most powerful things you can do as a masculine man is cultivate your capacity - to witness, pay attention, and hold emotions and intensity.

The more you do this, the more you can notice and respond to your needs, your partner’s needs, and the needs of the relationship, and the better equipped you’ll be to respond to them without getting stressed out or overwhelmed.

We recommend a daily embodiment practice, such as breathwork, yoga, or meditation to support you in cultivating these qualities. Doing your own ongoing emotional healing work helps you with them as well.

On a moment-to-moment basis, you can observe what is going on in your body, and when you notice stress or anxiety, you can focus on feeling grounded. This can be done by:

• leaning slightly into your back body
• relaxing your jaw
• breathing deep into your belly and pelvic floor
• feeling your feet on the earth
• imagining roots going down into the earth that hold you

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

Questions to reflect on:

1. What does it mean for me to have spaciousness, vastness, and capacity in my system? How does this impact my relationship?
2. Where do I see a lack of embodiment showing up in my life? Where do I struggle with having the capacity I desire to support myself, my partner, and our relationship?
3. What are some of the common sensations I notice in my body? What does getting triggered feel like in my body?
4. What practices help me become more embodied and increase my capacity? What schedule or rhythms do I want to commit to for a daily practice?